A whole life looking and listening for 'someone like me' and I can barely see it in my five children (who are very much like their dad) but I can hear it echoing between the words of writers like you, Barbara.
I also think it's more difficult because we don't know what we are looking for in our children. The loss of any 'mirror' growing up, any resonance is passed on to our children. We can't say of the child with remarkable ability, or difference of any kind - oh, she must have inherited that from great aunt .... We grow up in a vacuum and that persists until we are a few generations along from our severing from our family of origin.
I loved Tree of Strangers - nuanced, authentic, painful and ultimately hopeful in the power of truth telling and courage not to be submerged by the many damages of adoption.
I was always looking for her in the face of every stranger.
A whole life looking and listening for 'someone like me' and I can barely see it in my five children (who are very much like their dad) but I can hear it echoing between the words of writers like you, Barbara.
I also think it's more difficult because we don't know what we are looking for in our children. The loss of any 'mirror' growing up, any resonance is passed on to our children. We can't say of the child with remarkable ability, or difference of any kind - oh, she must have inherited that from great aunt .... We grow up in a vacuum and that persists until we are a few generations along from our severing from our family of origin.
Yes ! I wholeheartedly endorse your comment 😁
My all-time favourite adoption book.
High praise. Thank you.
That’s my mother’s name also and I felt the same way hearing it for the first time. I relate to so much in this story. Thank you for sharing!
A lovely name. Thank you for reading.
I loved Tree of Strangers - nuanced, authentic, painful and ultimately hopeful in the power of truth telling and courage not to be submerged by the many damages of adoption.