Love this piece. What a brilliant analogy 'palimpsest' is for the lived reality of an adoptee. The law scrapes off any visible trace of the original writings to create a tabula rasa, and the new family overwrites it with their own drama. The first ink remains, indelible yet invisible.
The problem, as you point out, is that when Self/Soul responds to the first ink and is drawn to Sport X or Creative Y, the adoptee has no idea if it's a whim or a calling. I've been drawn to story and words all my life, but I was nearly 40 before I learned that pull was written in first ink.
This is so helpful Barbara. Talking about skills that would have been helpful. Growing up I stayed close to my almost twin brother (5 m diff) and acquiesced to his and my mum's authority and opinion that continued well into adulthood.
Love your writing and observations. It’s helped to put definition on so much of what I, as an adoptee, have felt and experienced. I am proud of my adoptive family’s history and my birth family’s story, but neither are mine. I have often observed that i am a member of a culture of one. Glad to have found your substack.
You are so welcome here. And there are so many of us, you are in a culture of multitudes, and many of us are in a process to unravel our imposed identities and the meaning of it all.
appreciate this post - and the lost atlas of belonging has to be your next book title !
that's a rather nice idea. You never know.
too good to not do :)
Love this piece. What a brilliant analogy 'palimpsest' is for the lived reality of an adoptee. The law scrapes off any visible trace of the original writings to create a tabula rasa, and the new family overwrites it with their own drama. The first ink remains, indelible yet invisible.
The problem, as you point out, is that when Self/Soul responds to the first ink and is drawn to Sport X or Creative Y, the adoptee has no idea if it's a whim or a calling. I've been drawn to story and words all my life, but I was nearly 40 before I learned that pull was written in first ink.
“…when Self/Soul responds to the first ink and is drawn to Sport X or Creative Y, the adoptee has no idea if it's a whim or a calling.”
Is it a whim or a calling? THAT is the most perfect description. It is the question I’ve asked for so much of my life.
As soon as your post came through, it was yet another must now read. I appreciate your narrative and willingness to share your story. 💗
This is so helpful Barbara. Talking about skills that would have been helpful. Growing up I stayed close to my almost twin brother (5 m diff) and acquiesced to his and my mum's authority and opinion that continued well into adulthood.
Beautiful descriptions of severance. There’s something rhythmic and searching about your prose that rings true for this adoptee.
What a lovely thing to say, thank you.
As an adoptee I absolutely adore your writing. It makes me feel so seen and understood❤️
That is the best compliment. Thank you.
Love your writing and observations. It’s helped to put definition on so much of what I, as an adoptee, have felt and experienced. I am proud of my adoptive family’s history and my birth family’s story, but neither are mine. I have often observed that i am a member of a culture of one. Glad to have found your substack.
You are so welcome here. And there are so many of us, you are in a culture of multitudes, and many of us are in a process to unravel our imposed identities and the meaning of it all.