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Kristina's avatar

It’s even worse. Often as adopted people: our “family ties” to adopters

are so ephemeral and transitory that we may never inherit from ANYONE.

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Dr Barbara Sumner's avatar

Yes, there is that. Under NZ law, you can inherit as if you were the biological offspring. The problem is, you are only adopted by the couple named on your "legal fiction" second birth certificate. Their wider family are forced to accept you as one of their own - until it comes time to divvy up the estate. In my situation, I was barely tolerated by the wider family. We are yet to see how that plays out at the final hurdle.

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Kristina's avatar

In my case, the “wider family” accepted me more than my adopters. They’ve all been gone 35 years though, and it was another adopted sibling that robbed me of my adopters’ inheritance. Yep.

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Dr Barbara Sumner's avatar

Wow, I’m surprised at the theft, and yet, I am not. I have an adoptling (can’t think what else to call another adopted person who plays the role of sibling, who is angling (along with a friend of the adopter) to do the same.

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Kristina's avatar

Having grown up in that house, with those people, I am not one bit surprised. Weak minded people take on the characteristics of the evil around them, and hate strong minded, noble people who rise above their circumstances. The simple fact is, by stealing my money, they can’t change who I am or become more like me. And, I would rather be me and broke than be them with a zillion dollars. In fact by stealing someone’s money - they couldn’t become any less like me! It’s almost funny.

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Yvonne van Dongen's avatar

Fascinating insight. And now with the absurdity of being permitted to have a birth certificate featuring two mothers or two fathers and not the two people who ensured your existence, what does that mean for inheritance? The further we go from reality, the crazier life becomes.

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Dr Barbara Sumner's avatar

Yes, you are right. The Two Mother Problem is an upcoming essay related to my situation as New Zealand-born and adopted under the Adoption Act 1955 (NZ) granted British citizenship by descent from my biological mother. New Zealand law permits only one legal mother (the adoptive). So now I have fascinating conflict of legal identity.

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